The mystery which I want to share with you today on our "From the Vault" feature reminds me of a very old but still appropriate nursery rhyme:
There was a little girl and she had a little curl
right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very very good,
And when she was bad she was horrid - but remarkably interesting, all the same.
Which is my way of inviting you to read, or re-read, one of my favorite impossible crime detective stories by the great John Dickson Carr. The key words there are "impossible" and "detective." "Impossible," by the nature of the crime (murder on a luxury ocean liner - but the victim disappears and nobody is missing). "detective," because Carr's detective, Dr. Gideon Fell, sits in his living room in London, is told everything (and only things shared with the reader) about the crime - and solves the mystery without even leaving his armchair.
Yes, it's also "horrid" - but only if you believe that a great mystery cannot also be a hilariously funny farce. Murder is a terrible crime, but I suspect very few crimes of this nature happen in real life. And I'll stand by my diagnosis of "remarkably interesting." I'll explain more in this (lightly edited) transcript below of my Classic Mysteries audio review of Carr's 1934 classic, The Blind Barber. You have been warned...
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It was most certainly a memorable voyage. The commander of that noble passenger liner, the S. S. Queen Victoria, is highly unlikely to forget that particular Atlantic crossing. In fairness, Captain Sir Hector Whistler probably would prefer to forget it completely. For the high jinks aboard his great luxury liner were unlike any before or since. There was a fair amount of mayhem involved, and a lot of drinking…and also the theft of a fabulous jewel. And there was a bloody murder followed by an impossible disappearance. And the solution would come from a detective who wasn’t even on board the Queen Victoria (though he bitterly regretted having missed all the fun) – Dr. Gideon Fell. It all happens in The Blind Barber, by John Dickson Carr.
John Dickson Carr was – and remains, I think – the undisputed 20th century master of the impossible crime and locked room mystery genre – the crime that couldn’t have happened, yet did. In The Blind Barber, we have what I think is one of his most ingenious plots.
But...
The Blind Barber – first published in 1934, 87 years ago – is showing its age, frankly. It shows it mostly in a matter of attitude, but it’s hard to bring a 2021 point-of-view to that kind of 87-year-old humor.
So before we go any farther, let me list some of the things I really really like about The Blind Barber and also some of the things I don’t like as much.
I like the plot – a plot that is so complex that it’s hard to summarize here without totally confusing you – or confusing me, for that matter. Among its elements, it has to do with some stolen movie film that could prove very embarrassing to people in very high places, a stolen emerald elephant, and a bloody shipboard murder with a victim who vanishes.
I like the fact that it is a pure armchair detective story. Carr’s detective, Dr. Gideon Fell, quite literally sits in his armchair in his London rooms and is told the story of what happened on board the ship by one of the participants – and Dr. Fell solves the mystery without ever setting foot out of his rooms.
I like the fact that it is a comedy. In fact, it is a farce. As critic Anthony Boucher observed in his introduction to the 1962 Collier paperback edition sitting on my bookshelf, "this book is a farce about murder."
I like the four main characters involved in the strange events on board the S. S. Victoria – the people who are responsible for so much of the slapstick that surrounds this mystery and who somehow manage repeatedly to assault the dignified captain of the ship with everything from fists to bug spray.
What I do NOT like is some of the attitude.
Given the rather brutal nature of the murder in the book – and of the murderer, for that matter – some of the laughter rings kind of hollow to me.
I do NOT like the fact that so much of the humor is based on the idea that drinking to excess is inherently funny.
I do NOT like the fact that some of the humor is based on ethnic stereotyping. Note that this is ethnic, not racial, but – in 2021 – it feels more than a little awkward.
And now that I’ve listed all that for you, let me say only that I still think the plot of the book is brilliant and a lot of the humor really is funny, in a “three stooges” kind of way.
Oh – you want to know what happens? Well, as I said, the plot involves all sorts of complications. To repeat, paraphrasing the blurb of that 1962 Collier edition, there’s a reel of compromising film, an emerald elephant, and a lethal razor for props, murder as the evil deed, and unmitigated mayhem as the comedy relief. And there’s also the question of how to arrange for a disappearance at sea – when nobody is missing from the ship. When the ship reaches London, one of our central characters goes to visit Dr. Fell and lays the case out before him – and Dr. Fell is able to explain what really happened. And, in that Collier edition – I don’t know if it’s available in the newer e-book version – when Dr. Fell offers his explanation at the end of the book, the reader is given footnotes which contain the number of the page on which that clue had been given to you. Enjoy a good game of matching wits with the author and his detective? The Blind Barber is a great choice for you.
To quote Anthony Boucher again, he wrote in his introduction:
“Unlike almost all other comedies of terrors, The Blind Barber is a detective story, in the strictest sense. But never was a reader more bedeviled with distractions from detection. Who observes clues while he’s wiping his laughter-streaming eyes? I hope you enjoy the challenge…and the fun.
And I think that pretty well sums up The Blind Barber, by John Dickson Carr. And I really do hope I haven’t dissuaded you from giving the book a try. It’s available now in an e-book edition from Open Road Media. If you can overlook its flaws – mostly, as I say, the result of 1930s attitudes being viewed through 21st century eyes – I really do think you’ll enjoy the mystery – and you’ll be astounded by the solution.
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You can listen to the complete audio review by clicking here.
Next: Look to the Lady, by Margery Allingham.
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